Monthly Archives: July 2010

The Pope can just go ahead and fire his PR person.

The pope unveiled his new fashion hat this week. It’s….uh….

Can we just agree that Pope Benedict doesn’t need new PR. There’s no hope for the Pope to ever be cool. Catholicism is in a bad enough spot as it is with that whole raping-the-world’s-children-for-decades thing. The last thing kids need to feel welcome back in the church is the religious equivalent of their parents getting a Facebook account. Read the rest of this entry


Destructobox: Glotion Sickness

As always, you can check out more Destructobox, courtesy ofJoey Reinisch and Phil McLaughlin at

Matt Reacts to Comic Con

For those of you keeping track at home, while Chad was in San Diego last weekend, ogling Leias, getting swag, and putting the whole system on trial, I was at work hitting refresh every ten seconds waiting for news on, well, anything.

Now that we’re a few days removed, a lot of the stuff that people waited in lines for hours for is now on the internet where I can watch it in my underwear.

The New Tron Trailer –
LIGHT X-WINGS. We don’t have speakers on the computer at work, so the first 90 times I saw this trailer it was completely without sound, and I was wondering why everyone was coming down on de-aged Jeff Bridges. Then I watched it with sound, and I sort of get it, because the mouth is slightly off, but A.) it’s coming out in December, so they’ve got time B.) it’s Disney; they have Pixar at their disposal. I think it’ll get taken care of, and take care of well C.) if worse comes to worse, I’m already conditioning myself to accept that since CLU is a computer program, so he’d look a bit off from actual humanity.

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Reflection: Unravelling My Mind on “Inception”

I had unreasonably high hopes for “Inception.” If it did not completely blow my mind, convincing me that my whole existence was a lie and that I was in fact a sandwich all along, or at the very least some man-sandwich hybrid (Manwich!), I would be disappointed. Everything about it compounded my anticipation and expectations to the point I was brewing in my own impatience. The cast is superb: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, Tom Hardy and the geek Moses himself Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It is directed and written by one of the most consistently interesting and magnificent artists of the modern cinematic age: Christopher Nolan. The trailer itself is worthy of an Oscar. It creates a dream world where the movie was flawless. And that bass sound…it pounded so deep and loud the entire German nation creamed their respective lederhosens (lederhosi?). After the credits rolled, I stumbled out of the theatre, my brain fried by the depth and complexity of the movie; later, I almost had a panic attack while eating a turkey, bacon club because the layers of the sandwich were just too much for me to deal with right then. I needed awhile to comprehend everything that happened. Read the rest of this entry

Nolan North’s Master Work in “Resonance of Fate”

Remember that year when Julia Roberts was in every single movie? When you saw the trailer for “The Mexican” and said to yourself, “Another one? When do you sleep, Julia?”. That’s how Nolan North has operated in the videogame industry for the past few years. The dude’s a voice acting god. The dude’s been Nathan Drake, Desmond and The Prince.

This should not be seen as a critique of Nolan. Voice recording often puts the actor in a position with little context for the scene, no visuals to go off of, and no other actors for context. When working with North for an upcoming game, he showed me this title. He is not ashamed. Well he isn’t proud of it, but he won’t write to me because I posted it.

Up Yours, Chicago.

By personal request, my wedding gift to my good friend, JP, Michael Bay vs. the city of Chicago.


By Michael Bay

Big ups to all my dick-swinging adrenaline addicts out there.

Mike Bliz-ow Bliz-ay taking a break from the set here in the shitty city of Chicago. Jesus, I’ve heard people complain about LA putting Thousand Island on everything, but I’ve yet to have a meal in this midwest hell hole that doesn’t come topped with sausage.

You like wangs. We get it. Stop putting brown dicks on everything.

You ever see so many fat people? Goddamn it, I hate it out here. Everyone’s like creepy friendly. If I wanted to put up with constant high-fives and “how ya’ll doin'” or whatever the fuck they say out here in the farm states, I’d have taken the tax breaks to go shoot in Canada, except for one thing: THESE COLORS DON’T RUN.

Except at pussy.

Speaking of, oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

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Tommy Wiseau Didn’t Direct or Write “The House That Drips Blood on Alex”

Tommy Wiseau is a fascinating enigma of cult celebrity; known for being one of the worst directors and writers of our time. His film, The Room, has gone so far into cult success that it’s possible Wiseau’s actually made a profit on the project that supposedly cost seven million dollars to make.

It’s with that backing of loyalists that got Wiseau for their next big project, “The House That Drips Blood on Alex”. It premiered this weekend at Comic-Con. No surprise: it’s bad.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

What most don’t know is Tommy Wiseau had nothing to do with the creative aspects of this project. No directing, no writing. Just an acting role in a short film that borders on offensively deceptive by Atom Films. Read the rest of this entry