“Getting Iced”: Bros Find a Loophole to Uncool Drinking

The verb “icing” can mean one of three things:

1)   Adding an unnecessary level of sugar to a loaf of cake bread; nothing more than a delicious wedge of sweet carbs.

2)   Killing someone at gunpoint.

3)   A new drinking game popular with frat boys that “forces” the players to drink Smirnoff Ice.

Is this a game? I took a game design class in college and I say no. Instead it’s merely a scheme by both Smirnoff and drink snobs to get away with social fraud. Let’s take a look:At a baby-filled barbecue I encountered an Alpha Hipster, his jeans rolled up so high at the ankle it appeared he might start wading through a flooded basement. It was there he demonstrated the “proper” way to play Getting Iced.

1)   Girls would bring him a Smirnoff Ice

2)   He would drink it.

This is not a game. The man merely found a way to drink a ton of Smirnoff Ice without being belittled or having to walk himself over to cooler.

As it was mentioned, I took a game design class (because my advisor said I couldn’t take History of Rock and Roll again). It bestowed onto me a few common sense guidelines for what makes an activity a game and less indentured servitude of women. Let’s look at them applied to this version.

Getting Iced

Rules: If you get handed a Smirnoff Ice, you have to drink it.

So far so good, Hipster Guy.

Goal: Don’t Get Smirnoff Iced

Possibly, but as we look on we suspect that perhaps the play truly wants to get Smirnoff Ices handed to them.

Chance or Variables: Something must occur differently every time, either by player choice or chance. This game has neither unless you count how many Smirnoff Ice are handed to him.

Competition: An individual is the only one playing. There is none.

Granted, there’s a more popular variation of the game. The main difference is an emphasis on hiding the bottles in unexpected places. But the core rule is still the same: If you see a Smiroff Ice, you have to drink it.

How about this excerpt on the game from CNNMoney:

John Ryan didn’t see it coming. The Scottsdale, Ariz. based software engineer, 27, had just returned to his office from lunch. Seconds later, his project manager crept up to his desk, holding a ticking time bomb: A 24 oz. bottle of Smirnoff Ice. “You’ve been iced,” he said.

As his boss delightedly snapped pictures with his cell-phone, Ryan popped the cap, got on one knee, and chugged it. “It was rough,” he says.

That’s not a game; that’s your boss getting you drunk out of fear you might get fired.

In any other scenario, a guy forcing drinks upon you would like this:

The real menace behind the phenomenon isn’t Smirnoff supposedly. The site brosicingbros.com was taken down by Smirnoff parent company Diageo in an attempt to keep its product from being associated with underage drinking.

But really, is it worse to be considered a favored drink by the collegiate use? A year ago, the product was unofficially sponsored by 13-year old girls.

In all fairness, Grape flavor is delicious.

– Chad Quandt is Analogy Editor for Nonstop Karate.

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About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on July 14, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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