My dream of marrying a Na’vi girl is almost obtainable.

HOLY SH-

Elisany Silva is a Brazilian native who stands over 6’9” at the age of 14.

The above video describes her case as a disease known as Gigantismo. There is no need to label this as an affliction; this is a blessing. Kids have been inducted into Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters for less than this.Silva already has a modeling contract, which makes perfect sense. Now designers can make another series of dresses that will only fit one person.

Why would this girl want to be shorter? Except for unreasonable societal expectations and the danger of low-flying planes, height is nothing but pure advantage.

I’m happy for her, but that might be just because I want to marry a Na’vi girl.

James Cameron, now’s your chance; pull a Danny Boyle, rescue this girl from her third world country, put her in your next big picture, and then abandon her back to nothingness (Seriously, Boyle, that’s messed up).

Wait, I’m sorry. I was just confused over my attraction to Zoey Saldana.

Chad Quandt is Analogy Editor for Nonstop Karate.
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About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on September 6, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Movies, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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