Sleepy Panda has begun the transformation

Oh Sleepy Panda, we know you’ve been forced into a captivity that must be frighteningly confusing to your panda brain. Loud children scream at you all day around a giant gray barrier that keeps you in small 20×20 foot enclosure. All of your animal tendencies are slowly becoming domesticated as you lay around and are served bamboo.The most telling sign that human influence has changed ruined you? You’ve become a Cathy cartoon. Tired? Annoyed? Well turn the blanket over and hit the snooze button, panda! Your actions are the condensed material from a thousand Beetle Bailey comic strips about hating to get up in the morning.

Sleep, Panda, sleep. One of these days you’ll wake up and find yourself wearing a casual business suit and on your way to work. In your cubicle, none of your co-workers will realize you’re a panda; the transformation to a human will have been too far gone at that point. There will be no turning back; you will marry a nice woman named Gloria and have two children. The doctors will always wonder why your eldest son, Jonathon, has incurable fur rashes.

Chad Quandt is Animal Rights Editor for Nonstop Karate

About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on September 8, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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