For All Your Woody-Murders-the-Rest-of-the-Toy-Story-Cast Play Scenarios

Toy Story 3 was rather dark and contained one of the creepiest characters put into a children’s film. That does not excuse this Japanese Woody doll, an extremely articulate figure with an alternate attachable face best described as “Woody’s Going To Make A Lampshade Out of You”.Even the website selling the toy can’t make it seem innocent.

The toy’s description from HobbyLinkJapan contains this little diddy:

“He comes with an extra face with a slightly scary evil smirk”

Slightly scary? Japan, I know you’ve been desensitized over time from decades of brutal adult animation and a daily life of men in uniforms cramming you into metal tubes, but this toy is going to haunt a thousand little kids. You’ve made this generation’s Slappy from Goosebumps (except this is real and not a midget in a dummy costume).

You don't want to see the rest of this series. Trust me. This is the safe one.

The question isn't "Why would someone pose Woody as a rapist", it's "What action figure comes with accessory dildos?"

Chad Quandt is Lock All Your Toys in a Trunk Editor of Nonstop Karate.

EDIT: Ok, fine. One more.


About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on September 10, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Movies, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Oh god, Slappy. That character traumatised me O: and now Woody is having the same effect….

  2. Why so serious?

  3. Speaking of…

    The internet is now a darker place.

    There’s at least one more edit that can come out of this horror, I know it.

  4. There are so many ways this face can be used.

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