Geek Triumphs: “Shiny Ponyta after 25968 encounters!!!”
You may be asking yourself several questions after watching this video (as long as you reached the 0:45 mark); what is a “shiny pokemon”? Where do I buy a three-pack GameBoy Advance? How come Sum 41 has a live album?
::opens up a large metal tome entitled “Nerd Knowledge”::A “shiny” Pokemon is a rare variation of Pocket Monsters (remember when news stories called it that a decade ago? It sounded so quaint) encountered in the game. Running into one is entirely random, so it’s cool to have a shiny thing just because it’s hard to get. If you’re wondering, yes, this is the entire model that Pokemon’s used to drain the pockets of children for years.
A shiny is nothing but a visual difference. This boy scored a blue Ponyta rather than the regular red one. Let’s ignore the fact that this Pokemon is not battle-appropriate. At most he’s found something that will impress three of his neighbors and a few kids online.
SON: Hey Dad? You know how you’re always trying to get me to work in the garage with you?
::Dad takes a long sip of water, his throat issuing some weird guttural noise::
SON: I had an idea for a project, I could use a hand.
::A single tear rolls down father’s cheek. Now his boy will finally understand what it is to be a man.::
DAD: I’d like that a lot, son. What do you want to build? A toy chest? A bird house? A shelf for all those crazy science-fiction books you read?
CHAD: I need to connect three of my Game Boys together so I can play three Pokemon games at the same time.
::Dad grits his teeth so hard that his molars are destroyed::
DAD: Does this…does this help you in school? Make your friends like you more or something?
CHAD: Yeah! It will! It will help me get a Shiny Ponyta! It’s a blue pony that sparkles!
::Dad pulls out his hunting rifle and shoots himself in the genitals so that his loins will never again sire such a disappointment.::
It should be noted that I subconsciously changed the character of “Son” to “Chad”. This topic obviously reaches deep.