Get lunch with Allison Brie, become The Stalker

Women filmmakers need support. It can be traumatic to be an ex-wife to James Cameron or have your work constantly compared to your father’s gift-from-god mobster movies. If this is a problem that strikes you right in the Sympathy Glands or you are a sex-driven Horn Man, then do I have the eBay auction for you!

You can bid to win a lunch with Community’s (not Mad Men’s) Allison Brie.

Think long and hard before you bid on this, internet/Matt. What would you actually do for an hour-long lunch with a person who doesn’t know you?

YOU: So it must be really fun to work with a comedy legend like Chevy Chase. Does that create any pressure on you as a dramatic actress to hold your own in the laugh realm? What’s been your favorite episode?

ALLISON BRIE: Yeah, it’s tough…So you’re a construction worker?

[Both of you pick at your food for the next 55 minutes.]

If you could find a way to turn an awkward forced media event into a romantic encounter…well not only will you have a new wife, you will have the foundation for a wonderful romantic comedy. And you even have your leading female role already booked!

It must be a wonderful ego-boost to see that an hour of your time is worth so much to people you’ve never met. I’m just happy when someone from work invites me to lunch.

What’s not good for the self-esteem? No one bidding on your lunch date:

Dude, you were awesome in the miniseries about the seventies, though!

I remember a summer at Christian Camp where all the boys in my cabin auctioned ourselves for dates (it was wholesome in the eyes of The Lord, trust me). I went for $0.20 cents. This is why I have self-confidence issues.

Chad Quandt is The Girl Didn’t Even Want the Date Afterwards Editor of NonstopKarate

About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on September 28, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Television and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Fuck it, I’m going for it.


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