Live Action Sailor Moon Adaption almost the death of teen vaginas.

Guys, this almost happened. During the 2008 election, many said that Sarah Palin could be “a heartbeat away” from becoming The President if McCain died in office. This live-action Sailor Moon adaption was one drunk executive’s approval stamp away from making this show happened.

It has everything wrong with childrens’ programming; glorified consumerism, dance numbers, and bad attempts at political correctness.

Let’s be clear: any form of Sailor Moon is bad. I watched it only because this was the best pornography I could find before I realized what pornography is.

Also, there is a Sailor in a wheelchair. Who flies around in a modified wheelchair when in Sailor form. It’s so politically correct that it suggests “I have never met a handicapped person”. Animorphs took the idea of empowering disabled kids in the later books and what happened when kids who couldn’t move their entire lives could suddenly become a giant Tiger Shark. This has the cold reality of “YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN THAT METAL CAGE”.

The word “Sailor” originally comes from a popular form of school uniform in Japan, sērā fuku (“sailor outfit”). Toon Makers (those responsible for this show so bad it would’ve made girls not have periods anymore) didn’t realize that, and made them space windsurfers. Did anyone see that space cruise ship explode at 3:30? That’s some heavy stuff for a cartoon.

Chad Quandt is Sailor Jupiter Was The Best Because I Like Tall Girls With Smokers’ Voice Editor of Nonstop Karate

About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on October 12, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. This has the cold reality of “YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN THAT METAL CAGE”.

    This line made me laugh the most.

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