Son, I’m going to teleport your wang off.

So let’s say I’m a teleporter. Let’s just establish that right now. I can zip around the world whenever I want, but I write nerd essays every day because I want to keep things “real”.

I just figured out the best possible application of my powers: Jewish bris ceremonies.I know nightcrawler is master of portals and Christianity (except when he found out that his entire religious journey had been manipulated by a mutant-hating cult who planned to make him Pope, murder millions with poison waifers, reveal Nightcrawler’s true form and convince the world that the Devil was in form on earth). Maybe I can convert to Jewdaism and corner a niche market.

So say I can teleport and I grab a dude’s uncircumcised penis. I could theoretically teleport away and take just the skin with me. He wouldn’t even feel a thing because I teleport through the no-pain dimension or something.

Age of Apocalypse Nightcrawler did something similar, if you can taking off Warbird’s fingers as equivalent to your boyhood.

Really awkward positioning for the teleporters

A bris isn’t that hard of a procedure, you can even find instructions online!

Yes, I would have to grab penises all day, but that’s a lot of money made for 30 seconds of work. Do Jewish kids keep that skin? Make stem cells out of it?

As a note, Nightcrawler/Blink/Abyss need to be going for the genitals ALL THE TIME. Grab, stun, teleport and castrate him.

Chad Quandt is an editor for Nonstop Karate.
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About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on November 9, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Comics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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