Son, I’m going to teleport your wang off.

So let’s say I’m a teleporter. Let’s just establish that right now. I can zip around the world whenever I want, but I write nerd essays every day because I want to keep things “real”.

I just figured out the best possible application of my powers: Jewish bris ceremonies.I know nightcrawler is master of portals and Christianity (except when he found out that his entire religious journey had been manipulated by a mutant-hating cult who planned to make him Pope, murder millions with poison waifers, reveal Nightcrawler’s true form and convince the world that the Devil was in form on earth). Maybe I can convert to Jewdaism and corner a niche market.

So say I can teleport and I grab a dude’s uncircumcised penis. I could theoretically teleport away and take just the skin with me. He wouldn’t even feel a thing because I teleport through the no-pain dimension or something.

Age of Apocalypse Nightcrawler did something similar, if you can taking off Warbird’s fingers as equivalent to your boyhood.

Really awkward positioning for the teleporters

A bris isn’t that hard of a procedure, you can even find instructions online!

Yes, I would have to grab penises all day, but that’s a lot of money made for 30 seconds of work. Do Jewish kids keep that skin? Make stem cells out of it?

As a note, Nightcrawler/Blink/Abyss need to be going for the genitals ALL THE TIME. Grab, stun, teleport and castrate him.

Chad Quandt is an editor for Nonstop Karate.

About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on November 9, 2010, in Chad Quandt, Comics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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