The Green Lantern Trailer: the Die Hard’s Perspective

Chad recently did an entry where he, as a non-fan of Green Lantern, took a look at the Green Lantern trailer.

Take a moment to read it if you didn’t. It’s a good read, and as someone who’s followed GL since I was in grade school, it was interesting to for me to see  what someone else thought.

So here’s my thoughts on the Green Lantern trailer, from a die hard fan.

This is totally different from the comics! That’s not what Abin Sur’s ship would look like! I hate this!

Sinestro shouldn’t look like this! It’s different from the comics! He was originally based on David Niven! Make it like that! I hate it!

Why is Oa a caveman planet!? It’s a very scientifically advanced society! You expect me to believe that the Lantern’s willpowered rings are magic cave shit and not super science?! You’re fucking losing me! I hate this!

Now it’s Pandora shit?! What the fuck!? Jesus! Flying islands! You’re ripping off Avatar that ripped off everything else and I wanted Avatar to be like Aliens! With Space Marines! And Aliens! I hate this! Flying islands! Fuck!

Kilowog’s mouth is wrong! Why do you want him to look wrong?! Why are you raping and pooping on my childhood! Poop rapers! I hate this!

Yes, good kick him! That makes sense! You’re covered in the energies of a super weapon , but fuck that! Fuck that! Fuck it and we’ll just kick guys! He can build anything he can imagine, but yeah a boot stomp! What the motherfuck?! I hate this!

This should really be me. I’m stepping out of the character of this entry as the angry fan to say that this character in the movie should be played by me. Giant hipster glasses, vaguely but non-threateningly ethnic, dumbass hair and in love with Hal Jordan. That should be me.

While we’re here, Nathan Fillion should have been Hal Jordan.

Ryan Reynolds would have been a way better Guy Gardner.

Where are the white gloves?! I hate this!

In all seriousness, this is another victim of the unnecessary texturing which drives me nuts.

Anyway, this is me phoning in an entry.



About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on November 22, 2010, in Comics, Matt Loman, Movies and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Regarding Nathan Fillion as GL: reminds me of my old “Greencoat” post, oh so many years ago. Would it be poor form for me to link to it?

    Eh, what the hell, I’m a whore:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: