Movies where everyone’s having casual sex but me.

How are these not the same movie?

Oh, they are. So if you’re having a hard time associating with the hectic dating life of normal relationships, entertainment is here. Now the fun drama of unattached commitment is coming to the screen. There is a giant “No Strings Attached” billboard staring at me outside my workplace. All it tells me is that Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman get to have sexy sex a lot. That’s not winning me over.

Stop it. Some people in America lead lonely lives. There is a 30-year old looking at one of these posters and just screaming inside his head. Or maybe out loud in a supermarket, scaring the nearby patrons. Friends With Benefits, you do contain Topher from Dollhouse, the worst actor from Party Down, and a member of WKUK; you may live for now. At least you’re not Perfect Couples.

Chad Quandt is Analogy Editor for Nonstop Karate.

About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on January 3, 2011, in Chad Quandt, Movies and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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