Ah, Hell.

I forgot to have anything ready today. I suck.

Here’s a picture of a corgi, courtesy this wonderful blog.

I bet being a dog is really awesome.

So there’s that. I suck, I know I do. I had all day yesterday. Did nothing.

I’m not proud of it, but it happened. Have you guys ever had Hot Pot? It’s either Chinese Hot Pot, or Mongolian Hot Pot. I don’t know because I’m bad Chinese.

Hot Pot is where I was yesterday. Three hours of eating what is essentially a giant tub of soup filled with the contents of a pu-pu platter. The amount of food on display is both inspiring and humbling.

Inspiring, because eating all of it is truly an accomplishment, and humbling because you never will.

Except I did. I am a monster. So did everyone else I was with. We all went into shame spirals, and most went into the blessed rest of a food coma.

You’re going to try and fight the coma. Do not fight the coma. I fought the coma. You know what my reward was? Brain damage. My thinker’s gone right to Hell, because I crammed my body so full of food, that my sinuses filled with meat, forcing my brain to get pushed into the the top of my skull, slowly annihilating all higher cognitive function, and the thin membrane separating muscles from skin is now filled with dumpling skins and rice paper.

I lay here, typing this, praying for the sweet release of death.

Matt

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About Nonstop Karate

Created by Chad Quandt and Matt Loman Lonely. Online. Angry due to being online and lonely.

Posted on January 31, 2011, in Matt Loman, Updates and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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