REBUTTAL: SUCKER PUNCH HAD TO EXIST FOR THE GOOD OF ALL NERDOM
I have seen the film early for the benefit of us all. Earlier in the week, Mr. Chad Quandt wrote an article regarding his concerns with the film Sucker Punch. It can be read here. Go ahead. Read it. I’ll wait.
You didn’t even click it. You dick. Alright, let me paraphrase. In general, Chad is concerned with the turn that nerd culture has taken. Our rabid love for all thing’s nerdy has begun to be used against us, specifically by Hollywood. To sell us on movies, tv (no one fell for the “The Cape,” right? Thank God), or people that are without question, sub par. In the case of people, Chad has named the astoundingly hot, yet wholly untalented Olivia Munn as the epitome of nerd pandering. I can’t say I disagree. But comparing what she does to Sucker Punch is a bit of a stretch.Let me begin with a simple review of the film. Have you seen the trailer?
Now let me help you decide whether or not you want to see this movie. Answer these questions:
Did what you saw in the trailer excite you?
Do you expect this to be a good movie?
Are willing to part with $12?
My personal answers were: Yes. No. Yes.
If you liked the trailer, you will probably not be pissed about going to see this movie. It is nothing more and nothing less than a bunch of pretty girls put in a bunch of ridiculous action scenarios, fucking shit up. Do you care about the characters? Mildly. Do you care about their mission? Not particularly. Did you come to this movie to give a shit about anything? Probably not.
My point is, we ALL know deep down what this film is. Mindless, pretty fun. Would we prefer a movie that looked this cool AND had a deeper meaning with characters that felt real and we could make an emotional connection to? Of course. But that’s not what it is. And ultimately, I’m sorry to say, whatever we do as a community isn’t going to register on Hollywood’s radar. If that was the case, we’d have all 8 seasons of Firefly on BluRay and looking forward to the third Serenity film.
And if we were to draw a line in the sand, is this really the film to do it with? First of all, think about who’s giving it to us. Zack Snyder. Have you seen this guy’s body of work? He is one of us. He’s a HUGE nerd. He’s like a well-intentioned and talented Uwe Boll. He just wants to make shit that him and his friends would have wanted to see as teenagers. And say what you will about Watchmen, but if you think anyone would have adapted that into any better of a movie, you would be severely mistaken. The man has spent most of his career adapting previous material with the care and vision of a lowly nerd painting his tabletop figurines. This film is him emptying his idea cache before he went insane doing other people’s shit.
This was the pitch:
ZACK: “I have all these awesome action scenes and sets that I want to do. But they won’t all fit into one movie. And I’ll barely have the time to ever do one movie with ONE of them in it. Shucks.”
STEVE SHIBUYA (cowriter): “Hold on Zack. I have an idea for a film where we could cram all of them in! AND ADD HOT CHICKS!”
IN UNISON: “YEEEEEEA”
Seriously. Do you want a good Superman movie? Then Sucker Punch had to exist. It just did. He had to get all the slow-mo and dragon battles out of his system. Otherwise, I promise you that Superman would end up fighting an orc army with chainsaw and mini-gun arms. YOU KNOW IT BE TRUE. Besides, do you know how big a victory a good, modern Superman movie would be for all of nerdom? How about just one where he actually fights someone instead of being an emo, dead beat dad?!
My point is this: whether or not you go to see this movie won’t have an overall effect on the current course of Hollywood schlock or nerd culture. Hollywood will always be putting out unimaginative shit at a greater rate than they do decent films. And we as nerds, should we be THAT upset that people want to make shit that they think WE SPECIFICALLY will go see or buy? We act like we have some sacred vow or holy land to protect. We don’t. Nor should we be offended.
Besides when you get down to it, isn’t being a nerd simply throwing ourselves headfirst into whatever we want that gives us joy whether or not other people approve?
So if you want to see it, see it.
If you don’t, don’t get uppity about it. You’ve seen Blade Runner at least a hundred times. And that movie is boooooooring.