Throw Your Money Away: “eBay Roulette”

Anyone can get a gun now and there’s nothing dangerous about them; we have medicine to remove bullets. So there’s really no reason to go sit in a dark, smoke-filled basement and gamble with your life in a game of Russian Roulette.

What is something to hold dear? Your credit. That is what eBay Roulette is for; a game of chance, danger, and slight price gauging that will keep you on the edge of your computer chair. You might also accidentally end up with Hobo Hummel figurines.

Kids! Grab your dad’s/mom’s/caretaker’s credit card, run to your nearest computer, and login to the wonderful, still #1-way-to-buy-collectibles-from-other-people site on the web!

  1. Hit Wikipedia. Click on their “random article button”. Whatever subject comes up, search for that on eBay.
  2. Find a listing, something that has a few bids already and is ending in the next twenty minutes. You want the possibility that other people are watching that listing and you need the chance to be auto-outbid by a higher price.
  3. Go for it. Minimum bids are okay, but if you’re trying to impress yourself or your best girl pal, go higher.
  4. Sit back and wait. You only need to bid once. Your hope is that someone will have put a higher maximum asking price and you’ll instantly be out-bid, or that someone watching the auction will raise the price.
  5. Losing the auction is a victory. Being the top bidder saddles you with the burden of some new thing you don’t need or want.

Note: Though I came up with this on my own, I found the same idea on Urban Dictionary when looking for images. So, go and check that out.


About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on March 24, 2011, in Chad Quandt, Pop Culture and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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