You Can Dance to Anything, Panic! at the Disco

Chelsea Kane, until this video I didn’t know who you were. Bratz: The Movie is not the most stunning of IMDB credits. I owe you a great deal, Kane, as you have validated my high school experience. When planning our senior prom, I waged a large war with my peers to incorporate pop punk into the dance. You were too late, Chelsea Kane. Years too late.

“Look at Fall Out Boy’s ‘Dance Dance’!” I screamed. “They are dancing to it! They are multicultural and having a good time!”

Wait. Stop everything. Is that Cerie (Katrina Bowden) from 30 Rock dancing up on Patrick Stump? It’s like College Chad walked in on Middle School Chad jerking it and liked what he saw.

I’m referring to the act of Middle School Chad jerking it. Not Katrina Bowden.

Panic! at the Disco, I saw you in concert years ago at the Nintendo Fusion Tour. You performed with Fall Out Boy, Motion City Soundtrack, and The Startling Line. It was not the best show. You could tell you were signed to an album deal before you had ever toured the road.

At the very least I got to spend most of the concert playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for Gamecube. Gamecube, son! A full year before it came out on Wii. No, I don’t regret driving five hours to go play a videogame demo and see Fall Out Boy play.

Panic, about your song being played on Dancing With The Stars; are we still censoring the word “damn”? I thought that stopped in the 80s. Oh ABC, you’d keep everyone in a plastic bubble if you could. If there was any indie credibility to your band, it is gone now. Somewhere a 40-year old woman watched this dance performance and thought to herself “I think I will commit adultery to this song”. Not cool, Panic. Old ladies are cheating on their husbands to your music.

Actually, that’s pretty cool.

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About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on May 24, 2011, in Chad Quandt, Music, Television and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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