The Internet’s Summed Up In This YouTube Comment

Gather round, children. There used to be an acclaimed show on television called All In The Family. It was the best. The main character, Archie Bunker was a loud, old-fashioned racist whose views were controversial yet contained a lot of feelings still present at the time. Imagine Sheldon from Big Bang Theory was a Tea Party member. Also imagine that the Tea Party movement had more clout. That is similar to how Archie Bunker was as a mouthpiece for a large section of people when it first aired. Despite being a racist and a crumb bum, he was a sympathetic character and the relationships within the entire cast were as tender and real as I’ve seen on a program. Again, it was the best. Later on, the series spun off into a new version where Archie ran a bar called Archie Bunker’s Place. It was in this series that his wife, the lovable and naive Edith, died of a stroke. It is a heartbreaking episode and some of the finest acting ever seen on the silver screen.

I watch that episode sometimes late at night when I feel like having a good cry. It’s so low budget and simple it’s akin to watching a televised play. It is, by all means, art. So of course, in the comments for a YouTube upload of the episode,  I would find the worst part of humanity. Here it is ladies and gentlemen, the worst part of the internet:

Why, PEANUTLOVEDADY? Why are you so full of sexual deviancy? Could you not keep it contained? Yes, you were the only one. At least for this episode. Good lord, a beloved woman died of a stroke, an old man is grasping for something to hold on to and you’re in the corner shlicking it the little girl who just lost the mother figure in her life.

Here’s the wonder of the internet; people from around the world conversing on a creative work and sharing experiences and information. And then there’s PANUTLOVEDADY, just rubbing himself furiously in the corner booth of the lunchroom that is the internet.

Were you looking for kindred spirits here on The YouTubes? Someone who really just wanted to see Stephanie crushed and demoralized AND looking pretty fine for a preteen? You are the Meathead of the pervs, dude.

Suck on this perv! Here’s Danielle Brisebois, the actress who played young Stephanie, all grown up. Try and sexualize this!

Oh wow. She’s pretty hot. But I bet you hate that, PEANUTLOVEDADY! I bet you hate that she can rent a car and has stretch marks. Suck it. Wait, don’t suck it. Do something that isn’t sexual and you wouldn’t enjoy.

Here’s the rest of the episode, if you’re a person with feelings:

And the final piece. Tears, people. Tears fall down my face.

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About Chad Quandt

Writer for videogames, animation, the webcomic Suffrage. Master blocker in dodgeball. Barbecued with Corey Haim before he died.

Posted on June 14, 2011, in Chad Quandt, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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