Category Archives: Music

Michael Jackson’s “Liberian Girl” Is A Perfect Time Capsule of The 80s

Welcome to 1989. Let’s play a game: can you watch all of Michael Jackson’s 1989 music video Liberian Girl and count how many stars with cameos are still successful today?

A deep critical analysis and some essential Dan Aykroyd gifs like this one after the jump.

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Music History: The Golden Age of Terrible White People Rap

Chet Haze: “Ushering in the new Golden Age of Terrible White People Rap”

We’ve come to a point in America where hip hop is probably the most popular form of music, at least for teenagers currently growing up in the states.  It has embedded itself every facet of our society and you’d be hard pressed to find a corner of the country where people don’t listen to it on a daily basis or even worse, don’t acknowledge it as a viable art form. I personally grew up in an era where rap music was still having it’s growing pains as it began to infiltrate Top 40 radio.  Gangster rappers actually murdered each other, for a week MC Hammer was the richest man on the planet, and old white people were terrified that these young black men would defile their daughters and steal their good china right in front of their very eyes.
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Breaking Down What Kind of Man Nicki Minaj Wants Through “Super Bass”

“Super Bass” is a catchy song. And Nicki Minaj has an ass that won’t quit… giving me boners! ::looks for a high-five from no one::

You might find yourself wanting to win Nicki Minaj’s heart or sexual organs. I’ve done some careful calculations, analyzed her hit single and established the areas of priority Minaj looks for in a man. Unfortunately, hot fashion and money seems to be winning over an appreciation of Proust. Welcome to the harsh reality of the dating world, internet.

Breakdown of the song (with explanations of terminology)

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This is Your Childhood: “Space Jam”

A few days ago I caught one of my favorite movies from my childhood on of all places, the NBA TV Network (that exists).  It was, of course, the mid-90’s Michael Jordan/Looney Tunes collaboration entitled “Space Jam.”  Do you remember “Space Jam?” If you grew up in the 90’s there’s a damn good chance you do. And that you loved it unconditionally.  Why? In case the trailer above didn’t make it clear, it combined everything that you loved as a child into one package:

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FUNemployment

Oh hey everyone.

Aw. That's kinda nice.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or not, but for the last month I have been on what we in the “industry” like to call “hiatus.” Which is a nice way of saying I’m currently unemployed. The nice thing about working in TV is that there is a built in two month period in the summer where productions shut down to give everyone a break. The bad thing about working in TV is that there is a built in two month period where I don’t get paid.  Now, I understand that there are many, many people in this country that have been unemployed for many months or years.  Which is a God damn shame. But this isn’t going to be a political post about the state of our economy or anything.  I just wanted to acknowledge there are thousands of people in this country who have it harder than me before I start talking about how bored I am.  That’s the thing though, if you haven’t been unemployed in your lifetime that’s awesome! But I’ll have you know that you learn a lot about yourself when you are obligated to do literally nothing.  And that’s what I’d like to share with you today. What I’ve learned about myself in the last month or so:

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You Can Dance to Anything, Panic! at the Disco

Chelsea Kane, until this video I didn’t know who you were. Bratz: The Movie is not the most stunning of IMDB credits. I owe you a great deal, Kane, as you have validated my high school experience. When planning our senior prom, I waged a large war with my peers to incorporate pop punk into the dance. You were too late, Chelsea Kane. Years too late.

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You’re Doing It Wrong/Right: The Worst Kind of Popular Twitter Feeds

Let’s get one thing clear up front; I would be overjoyed at knowing hundreds of thousands of people listen to my Twitter  updates, my quirky remarks, my photos of what we’re eating. It would fill me with so much self-esteem I’d probably start hitting on girls at bars without alcohol in me. So know that I acknowledge my jealousy of any accounts with more followers than me (I have 200 followers. So this is most of them).

Chronicled on the tear-stained screen below are some of the main account types that flood Twitter and make me wonder if I wasted thirty minutes of my life crafting gems like this:

I spent 20 minutes on that. Let’s continue.

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