Category Archives: Television

Disney Buying LucasFilm Might Be a Good Thing

Possibly the best thing.

I think the initial reaction was a whole lot of “WTF” because it came out of nowhere. My job enables me to spend a lot of time dicking around on the internet, A LOT OF TIME, but I hadn’t heard any rumblings or rumors or anything until the press release was, uh, released.

After the dust settled and we realized it wasn’t an Onion article, my Twitter feed was filled with a lot of cynicism and worry about the acquisition and what that could mean for many people’s favorite franchise.

I must ask; will it be worse than what Lucas himself has been doing with it? The constant adjustments to the movies? The deciding what is and isn’t canon at whim? The Kinect dancing game?

Jar-Jar goddamn Binks?

We’ve seen the bottom, children.

As in all things, there is a lot of stuff that can go wrong, however; if we all take a step back and look at this with clear eyes and our hearts free of the knee-jerk Nerd Rage that so easily can envelope us, that maybe, just maybe, we’ll realize Disney’s acquisition of LucasFilm is a good thing.

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Forgot About Bay

By Michael Bay

What the fuck is this fucking shit? Avengers crushes the record for opening weekend gross? They took the record that I earned with my blood, sweat, and cinematic seminal fluids from me?

You come at me, Michael Bliz-ow Bli-zay, the one summer I take off to gather my strength to make a comedy and prep for Transformers 4: a World without Shia, and you think I wouldn’t notice?

You think you’re the fucking king of summer, Avengers? You think Bliggity Bay get soft?

Now you want to run around, talking about breakdancing robots tearing each other arms off, like I ain’t got none? You think I sold them all, just because I’m well off?

Think you can talk that shit like it won’t get back to me? Like I’m not everywhere?

Motherfuckers think you can forget about Bay?

War, it is.
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The Mass Effect 3 Thing pt 1: The Ending

What follows is less about the actual nuts and bolts of the ending regarding any sort of closure inside the Mass Effect Universe, or of the supposed insidious business practices of EA , but more about why the ending was used.

I'm coming back, Earth. And I'm bringing all the murder with me.

I will do my best to keep it spoiler-lite for Shepards still fighting the good fight, and less intensive for those of you who don’t care about Mass Effect, but I can make no promises.

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Dear Ralphs, Your Box of Raisins Was One Dollar Cheaper On “The Price Is Right”

by Margaret Reed

To Rico Hernandez, Manager of the Ralph’s On Western and Melrose,

Yes, I know that is your name. I asked the nice black security man who the manager was last night and he pointed me at your photo on the wall. I must say, I have never seen you in the store, and I’m there every day from 6:00AM to 6:40AM.

For over twenty years I have been a loyal patron of your store, including the six months it was a Big Lots. That was not a good time; I got terrible indigestion from their off-brand yogurt.

I was recently shocked to watch an episode of The Price is Right and see the listed retail price for a box of Raisinette was one dollar lower than what you charged me this week.

What the fuck.

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Alien Nation Loves Mexican Food

In case you were wondering where the best Mexican food in the galaxy was...

Came across this gem while running around Hunting Beach, CA this past weekend.  Ate at a lovely little taco stand called “Las Barcas.” Where apparently the entire cast and crew of the sci-fi classic “Alien Nation” frequented to quell their south of the border cravings.

Please confirm everyone finds this as funny as I did at the time.

– Veezy

If “Community” Had The Marketing Campaign for “Whitney”: A Better World

Depending on where you live, Whitney billboards are dominating your life. In Los Angeles, they’re so numerous they’re reaching maddening levels. I see five on the mile drive back home every day. The general Nonstop Karate consensus is that Whitney Cumming’s show looks as bad as her marketing campaign. We could be wrong! Heath Ledger was a good Joker! Who could’ve known? Chris Nolan. Shut up.

Community is excellent. Good lord, is it a well made show. Now imagine is Dan Harmon’s Little Show That Could had gotten 1/10th of the marketing money as Whitney. Having trouble imagining that? Here, let me help you. Read the rest of this entry

Your Comic Con Primer

 

As a self proclaimed nerd (obviously since I’m writing for NK) I am making the trip down to San Diego for Comic Con this year.  This is the fourth year I will be going, so I believe that makes me a bit of a Comic Con veteran.  If you don’t know what Comic Con is, I’m not going to take the time to explain it. And you should probably just go on living your life as a well adjusted human being, because I assure you that you’re better off.  But for those of you that care, let me share some of my wisdom from years past and give those of you who won’t be going a little insight into how awesome/horrifying Comic Con can be.

Just to start, Comic Con has changed significantly since it began in 1970.  But the most radical change has come in the last decade or so when the internet began to be so ingrained into our daily lives.  Now everything: movies, TV, video games, comics, EVERYTHING thrives on the buzz created on the web and the word of mouth of nerds.  And for a lot of these, it all starts with their appearance at Comic Con. Basically, Comic Con has become significantly less about the comics themselves and more about everything else that nerd culture loves.  For example, there was a large Guild panel before the Community panel last year. The Guild. The Guild is…awful. Just. Really terrible.  My point is, a sub par web series that had no business being there in the first place, held a panel in a HUGE ballroom. Guys, Felicia Day is super hot. But. Fuck off. What’s wrong with us? Read the rest of this entry