Category Archives: Video

Nothing says metal like used cars and flip-flops


Music History: The Golden Age of Terrible White People Rap

Chet Haze: “Ushering in the new Golden Age of Terrible White People Rap”

We’ve come to a point in America where hip hop is probably the most popular form of music, at least for teenagers currently growing up in the states.  It has embedded itself every facet of our society and you’d be hard pressed to find a corner of the country where people don’t listen to it on a daily basis or even worse, don’t acknowledge it as a viable art form. I personally grew up in an era where rap music was still having it’s growing pains as it began to infiltrate Top 40 radio.  Gangster rappers actually murdered each other, for a week MC Hammer was the richest man on the planet, and old white people were terrified that these young black men would defile their daughters and steal their good china right in front of their very eyes.
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Encounter The Most Terrifying Thing at Comic-Con

We saw some messed up stuff at San Diego Comic-Con. A man feeding tacos to a possum in swaddling clothes, fake policemen putting passerbys in a 1920s paddy wagon, dollar bills hanging off rooftops on fishing line, and a 90-year old bartender who poured air and assured you that it was vodka.

But somehow this takes the cake. (more…)

This Cat Washing Machine Was Invented By A Mean Little Brother

The idea of a Cat Spa (trademark?) makes sense for the first five seconds (Oh yea, I imagine washing a cat IS hard! Cats hate water right? It’s like The Jetsons). Then you see that instead of nice robotic hands cleaning your cat for you, it’s just a death trap chamber you toss your cat in. If there was a movie called Animal Final Destination, an animal would die in one of these when it malfunctions.

I don’t think why I’ve ever washed my cat. Probably because cats clean themselves. That’s kind of part of their appeal: low maintenance, they’ll eat your body if you die in your apartment, and they clean themselves. Did your cat fall into a tub of butterscotch or get sprayed by a skunk? Then just take a soap rag and gentle clean your cat. Don’t gas chamber them.

Destructobox: “Thparticus”

We love Destructobox at Nonstop Karate, partly because co-creator Joey Reinisch is part of our wrestling tag-team of writers LOLJK. If you enjoyed DB’s “Box Lunch” short on Mondo Media, you might have noticed some wonderful Television background audio. In fact, you might have said “Shut up, main characters. What is that beautiful voice I hear?”. That would be myself and the wonderful Aaron Waltke improvising what our hearts truly lust for: gay sex scenes in Showtime shows.

Reed Richards: Master Woodworker

The X-Men could be a collective spokesperson for the plastics industry. At some point or another, they’ve built every conceivable thing so that Magneto can’t control it: Xavier’s wheelchair, the Blackbird,  they even keep cookies in plastic jars incase Magneto attacks for some late night num-nums. Usually that stuff still works, it’s not just little replica models. Cyclops didn’t go hit Genosha with a Gundam Wing model set.

So what’s more impressive here? How easily Magneto just rolls over? Or that Reed made a wooden gun that detailed? Look at that thing! He painted it too!

This clip cuts off right before Magneto realizes he has power over OTHER things and crushes the police with their cars. It gets REAL bloody, and there was no censorship back when this cartoon was made.

At the entrance of Hell, this Bugs Bunny costume guards the way.

Jesus. JESUS. There is no Jesus here where this video exists, but GAH JESUS.

WHY DID HE BECKON AT THE CAMERA? Does he know I’m watching? Oh god, why is he on that rocking horse? Why is he there? What is it about his presence that kills all audio recording it? Bugs Bunny continues to ride, head forward, atop his horse of Pestilence or Famine, without ever stopping.

I just turned on the lights in my room. And I locked the door. No, I don’t think this video means me harm. I believe it’s just a weird family video that lost the audio. All I’m saying is you can’t be too careful. Better to lock your door a thousand times than have this thing looming over you one night.

I thought that was the end of it, and then I found the other videos this account had hosted. And I skyrocketed from misery all the way to elation in less than a minute. Read the rest of this entry