Blog Archives

Sexy Sexism in Comics; Also, Sex. Part One!

I love comic books. And I love women.  In fact, I’d say that they are my two favorite things to look at and spend money on.

Just kidding. Who buys comics anymore AMIRITE?!!

There’s been a lot of rumbling lately about the problem of sexism in comics.  I’ll be the first to admit it’s an issue, but it’s kind of unfair to single-out comics when it comes to sexism. (refer to Dolce and Gabbana ad, above)

“But Ryan”, you may say, “Just look at the way women are drawn! And what about the fact that women are always given the defensive powers, rather than offensive?  Also its sort of hard to to believe you after you referred to women as “things” in the first line?”  And to you I would say:  THAT WAS A TEST.  You passed. Now claim your prize by reading on, as we look at  what’s wrong, what’s right, and what we (read: everyone but me. I’M writing a BLOG) can do about it.  Buckle up, true believer-ettes, it’s gonna be a sexy, bumpy, sex-bumpy ride.

Today’s installment: COMICS ARE SEXIST

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Dear Celebs: The Heroically Super Edition

Dear Wonder Woman Marketing Team.

Which one of you geniuses thought this was a good idea?

Turns out a hot girl in tight clothing doesn't just make everything okay.

You’ve made someone who’s supposed to be a warrior, diplomat, and in the TV series, a CEO look like she bought her costume off the rack of a Halloween store that specializes in “sexy costumes” (see also: whore). Read the rest of this entry

I Got Your Crossover Right Here *Points to Crotch*

I hate crossovers in comics.

Remember Ben Reilly? Fuck the 90's.

That’s not true. I like the small ones. A story that take place across all the Avengers’ titles or the X-Titles, or the now shitload of Green Lantern titles doesn’t have to be a bad thing, because they’re usually relevant, and sometimes move actual plot and characterization forward, plus, and this is the big one, I can follow along in the actual titles I buy month to month, and not worry about having to pick up a mini-series or a one-shot to keep up with the event. All the X-titles crossing over makes sense. If Apocalypse or,  more recently, Dracula, showed up, why wouldn’t you call for help?

But, Lord, do I hate company-wide crossovers. Read the rest of this entry

Nonstop Debate: A Roundtable Discussion

Hello, and welcome to Nonstop Karate’s 1st round table discussion. We come up with a problem that may or may not happen, and bring in a group of experts to examine the logistics of such an undertaking and evaluate pros and cons with the individual philosophies’ approach to the issue at hand.

Today’s Topic: Terrorism.

Matt: All right, gentlemen, thank you for joining me. The topic is terrorism. I suppose the first question is, at what point should we stop trying to understand why these people are taking up arms and such extreme measures for a cause we may not wholly understand, and start treating them as combatants–
Wolverine: Stab ’em.

Thing: Clobber ’em.

Punisher: Shoot them in the face.

Deadpool: Tickle fights.

Batman: I’m Batman.
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Success of “The Green Hornet” shows I know nothing about movie trends.

If there was a fantasy football game with movies instead of athletes, I’d play it (already working on it, internet). And in my drafting of movies, I would’ve picked The Green Hornet as a sure failure. I was wrong. Despite every conceivable sign, it took number one at the box office.

A few conceits; it was going against nothing new but The Dilemma, a Kevin James/Vince Vaughn comedy where the titular dilemma is whether or not to tell your best friend his wife is cheating on him with Channing Tatum. The answer is “Yes” everytime. No question. How is that even up for debate? Even if the wife threatens you with death; you go to the cops, get into the witness protection program, and watch all 20 seasons of ”Dr. Who” in your government-funded safehouse. Then you murder Channing Tatum and dump his body in a river. That’s what happens to strippers. No one ever feels bad about that. Read the rest of this entry

Concerning Sidekicks

The sidekick is an interesting phenomenon in literature.

Dude. C'mon. Pants. Jesus.

The sidekick can serve many purposes. Used in the myth of Gilgamesh, Enkidu the beast man serves as a juxtaposition to Gilgamesh. They share the same heroic qualities but they are very different men.

Fun Fact: 2200 years ago, man was four and half feet tall and hairier than all

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Comic Book Storytime: Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose

I wish I could show you what was behind John Dimaggio’s face. It is art. But WordPress would shut me down. If it’s not blatantly obvious, that is a woman with an octopus for a vagina. It is from an independent comic book called Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose. I just discovered it and I can’t stop questioning my sexuality laughing.

This is NSFW if John Dimaggio over sex organs scares you.

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