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Dear Celebs: Tomorrow, We Ride at Dawn Edition

Dear Darren Aronofsky,
What in the Screaming Blue Hell are you thinking?

You drop out of Wolverine as, perhaps, our only real hope for a decent movie starring the ol’ Canucklehead, to work on an “edgy” version of Noah’s Ark?

I understand that you’re a serious filmmaker, and that as a serious filmmaker who made Black Swan you are now in a position where you must follow up on that movie with something equally artistic and driven as that movie that also does as well commercially. You have to prove that you’re not a flash in the pan director, but that you exist in that rare Venn diagram overlap between commerce and art.

But you know who else lives that rarefied air? Read the rest of this entry


Hans Zimmer Got Nothing on The Human Voice

Hans Zimmer, your months of creating a beautiful movie score just got shown up by a few kids and iMovie.

Chad Quandt is Why Was Ellen Page So Instantly Accepting of Dream Thieves? Editor of Nonstop Karate


Came up with this with Kyle of LOL/JK and Moon County fame.

I’m prouder of this then I would be of any child I’d help make.

If you don’t get it, go see Inception again, and then listen to Notorious BIG’s “Juicy.”

Or just listen to the song. Or listen to the song and then go see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It’s a comic book movie, filled with videogame references, about a boy meeting a girl that’s somehow one of the most originals films of the last five years.


I’m just kidding, I know you’re all going to see Avatar, again.


Reflection: Unravelling My Mind on “Inception”

I had unreasonably high hopes for “Inception.” If it did not completely blow my mind, convincing me that my whole existence was a lie and that I was in fact a sandwich all along, or at the very least some man-sandwich hybrid (Manwich!), I would be disappointed. Everything about it compounded my anticipation and expectations to the point I was brewing in my own impatience. The cast is superb: Leonardo DiCaprio, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, Tom Hardy and the geek Moses himself Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It is directed and written by one of the most consistently interesting and magnificent artists of the modern cinematic age: Christopher Nolan. The trailer itself is worthy of an Oscar. It creates a dream world where the movie was flawless. And that bass sound…it pounded so deep and loud the entire German nation creamed their respective lederhosens (lederhosi?). After the credits rolled, I stumbled out of the theatre, my brain fried by the depth and complexity of the movie; later, I almost had a panic attack while eating a turkey, bacon club because the layers of the sandwich were just too much for me to deal with right then. I needed awhile to comprehend everything that happened. Read the rest of this entry