Blog Archives

Suck It, Future-Me: Looper Review

“I’m from the future. Go to China.”

I’m not going to recap the plot. Every blog, website, and newspaper article has tried their hand at summing up the story.

note: I tried very hard to stay spoiler-free, but it’s hard to do that with a movie like this

Speaking from experience, both personal and via the hundreds of pieces of media I’ve consumed, there comes a very special time in a young man’s life when he tells an older, wiser, and more versed person to go to Hell.

It doesn’t matter what this person says, knows, or has lived, the young man is sure that whatever that person is telling him isn’t true.

“You don’t know.”

“What happened to you won’t happen to me.”

“I’m better.”

“Smarter.”

“Meaner.”

“Luckier.”

“It does not matter. It will not, ever, happen to me like it happened to you.”

These young men are wrong, of course. Most of the time it’s chalked up to universal truths that must leave their mark. These are lessons that can’t be taught; they must be felt. These are the mistakes that are made when youthful exuberance meets ignorance.

And there is no force on Earth, not even time travel, not even a future version of you who has literally made every choice you want to, telling you, to your face, that there is  a better way.

This is one of the two major thematic elements of Looper, and this narrative thread is begun with a fantastic scene, glimpsed for a few seconds in the trailer, of Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt having a sit down to discuss just what is going on; what is going to happen, and what the other guy plans to do about it. Read the rest of this entry

Frank Herbert’s DUNE: The Drinking Game!

Sandworms Love it, Fremen Approve!

Around a year and a half ago, I was out at a local pub with a few friends of mine (Editor’s Note: Just say the writing staff of Nonstop Karate. -Ed.) when we all began reminiscing about the books and movies that truly inspired our childhoods.  Most had been adequately represented in today’s culture by reboots, sequels, prequels, and gritty reimaginings; that is to say, the traditional way to honor anything that was remotely successful or “good” in the past.

One franchise that we realized hadn’t really gotten much attention lately (aside from a tepidly received SyFy channel mini-series) was Frank Herbert’s wildly popular 1965 science fiction series, “Dune”.

So we did the only thing we could think of to rectify the situation. We turned it into a drinking game.

The game you are about to learn about can be quite fun, although to be honest it has only been played once amongst my circle of friends, and even then in a very prototypical form (as in we were inventing it as it was played.) If nothing else, you will get drunk pretending to be an alien worm-riding space baron.

Be aware that this is isn’t one of those terrible “games” where you watch the film adaptation and take a shot every time someone says “spice”.  This is a true gentlemen’s sport with real, complex rules. A game of strategy and nuance. And beers.  Lots of beers.

If you’ve never heard of “Dune” or you don’t like getting wasted with a group of idiots, you should probably just stop reading now.

If you like one or both of those things, read on! Read the rest of this entry

Technology We Should Really Have at This Point

As you may or may not have heard, the British are developing force field technology. This is not a hoax, not a dream, not an ARG for the new Abrams’ movie; this is real life and it is amazing.

While watching TV earlier this year, there was a commercial for what was essentially a tricorder; a handheld x-ray device exists.

Invisibility is within our grasp.

We’re living in the future, folks. It’s like we’re inside a piece of a science-fiction, and it’s an extremely exciting time to be alive.  Which makes the fact that the following things don’t exist inexcusable and perhaps the truest example of some ol’ bullshit.

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Arnold Brought Sci-Fi to the Masses

Friend in real life and frequent blog commenter, Neil, posed a theory to me:

Did Arnold Schwarzenegger Bring Science Fiction to the Masses?

Of course he did.

Outstanding.

Read the rest of this entry